Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Days left: 90
Extraordinarily exhausted today. Not enough water? Not enough food? Not enough sleep? No idea why.
Days left: 90
Conclusion: planning for trips with more than 2 people is complex.
I mean, I knew this before we started, but the full extent...whew, experiencing it is just different from predicting.
In any case, am supremely pleased with myself. Although the rehearsals for Please Seat Yourself take an incredible amount of time, say 5+ hrs (intense!!), I am thoroughly enjoying my new experience! I've never been in a play before and it's fun! It's a well written and very interesting play to boot, so I think I quite lucked out. I like the director and the producer, and I know the people running it (K. and A.) so that helps. Plus I've met people I didn't know before, and probably wouldn't have met if not for this play.
Although rehearsals are long and tiring and take up lots of time, it's fun. And you know what they say about suffering and friendship. Plus spending so much time cooped up in the same room with each other. It's a pity that tech is only a week long. I shall be sad when we are finished. So in the meantime, I will try to enjoy the process as much as I can.
I mean, I knew this before we started, but the full extent...whew, experiencing it is just different from predicting.
In any case, am supremely pleased with myself. Although the rehearsals for Please Seat Yourself take an incredible amount of time, say 5+ hrs (intense!!), I am thoroughly enjoying my new experience! I've never been in a play before and it's fun! It's a well written and very interesting play to boot, so I think I quite lucked out. I like the director and the producer, and I know the people running it (K. and A.) so that helps. Plus I've met people I didn't know before, and probably wouldn't have met if not for this play.
Although rehearsals are long and tiring and take up lots of time, it's fun. And you know what they say about suffering and friendship. Plus spending so much time cooped up in the same room with each other. It's a pity that tech is only a week long. I shall be sad when we are finished. So in the meantime, I will try to enjoy the process as much as I can.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Days left: 91
Three months left until graduation!
This means time to write/examine my graduation bucket list in earnest.
Not sure what should go on it yet, hm...
This means time to write/examine my graduation bucket list in earnest.
Not sure what should go on it yet, hm...
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Days left: 92
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| If you google image "Saturday" this is one of the first results. Pretty! It's how I feel most Saturday afternoons... |
Another Feb Club! My third. Sig Ep was clean and roomy inside last night, and could fit quite a number of people. It'd make a pretty nice place, actually--wouldn't mind living there for real. They have a patio area, when you go in the room feels large since the entrance actually leads into stairs going down into an open lower level. And there's a balcony where you can be a creeper and watch people on the level underneath you.
It wasn't too crowded when I went last night. Saw a few of the regulars, like E. and also J., who's a cog sci senior and hence is in senior seminar now and was in junior seminar last year with me. He came up and remarked on how he was surprised to see me out, did I go out often, because I'd seemed like the academic type?
Hm, I'm really amused that anyone would assume that about me. Then they really don't know any better, haha! I guess when you assume you make an ass out of me and you?
M. led us to the Rugby House after, where we saw G. and her friend...um...whose name escapes me right now, but anyway, they seem like good friends since I see one and then the other at all (of the few) parties. When we walked in, there were a couple of guys with red cups in their hands. One of them asked, Are you all twenty-one? I think I might have rolled my eyes and said something to the effect of, What do you think? He, or maybe one of the other guys said, Funny how everyone's suddenly twenty-one.
Everything was happening upstairs, so we walked up a flight of rickety old stairs (I SWEAR the wood of one of the floor boards buckled under me, and I'm not that heavy I hope) and into this little room with kitchen things that was quite crowded. There really weren't all that many people, so it was small and packed which personally is worse than large and packed (I'm more claustrophobic when it comes rooms and walls than people it seems). The room connected to it had the lights off, and (good!) music playing (actually, Sig Ep had really good dance music too, which was a happy surprise). D. and I stayed there for a few minutes and then left, because we wanted to try our luck at T for the first time, which we laughingly and hurriedly braved the howling north winds to get to.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Days left: 93
It really is the case that the sweetest moments in life come from the simplest things.
Like a warm day in February that feels so tantalizingly, deliciously like spring, makes me feel nothing but love in my heart. Yes, cheesy I know.
Lingering and laughing over dinner with good friends makes meals taste better.
I have duty tonight which means I have to stay around in Silliman from 10pm to 3am. But I think I rather like it, with the window is open, the air smelling faintly of the dampness of growing things, and blasting Only Girl in the World and Mine with the bass on high.
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that I turned in a few applications today? Either way...now that I think about it, when I was focusing on my criteria, I almost failed. Versus this week, when I focused on being happy and only doing things that give me happiness, my quality of life increased a lot. I think I did tons better on my different criteria. Curiously, all that's really different is how the question is asked: does this help one of my goals versus will I feel happy doing this? Perhaps the lesson here is that instead of trying to reach goals that we think will help us be happy, we should just ask ourselves before we do something whether it will bring us happiness. Sometimes, this can be along the lines of, will doing this problem set or not doing this problem set make me feel happy or unhappy? Haha, and almost always, I'm finding that the answer is yes, it will make me happy to get this pset under my belt, and yes I will be very unhappy rushing it at the very end.
Like a warm day in February that feels so tantalizingly, deliciously like spring, makes me feel nothing but love in my heart. Yes, cheesy I know.
Lingering and laughing over dinner with good friends makes meals taste better.
I have duty tonight which means I have to stay around in Silliman from 10pm to 3am. But I think I rather like it, with the window is open, the air smelling faintly of the dampness of growing things, and blasting Only Girl in the World and Mine with the bass on high.
Maybe it also has to do with the fact that I turned in a few applications today? Either way...now that I think about it, when I was focusing on my criteria, I almost failed. Versus this week, when I focused on being happy and only doing things that give me happiness, my quality of life increased a lot. I think I did tons better on my different criteria. Curiously, all that's really different is how the question is asked: does this help one of my goals versus will I feel happy doing this? Perhaps the lesson here is that instead of trying to reach goals that we think will help us be happy, we should just ask ourselves before we do something whether it will bring us happiness. Sometimes, this can be along the lines of, will doing this problem set or not doing this problem set make me feel happy or unhappy? Haha, and almost always, I'm finding that the answer is yes, it will make me happy to get this pset under my belt, and yes I will be very unhappy rushing it at the very end.
Days left: 95
Another Feb Club under my belt. Repeat soon!
And most effective motivation to get to the gym: feeling energetic and great and positive afterward. The feeling itself makes me want to go again!
And most effective motivation to get to the gym: feeling energetic and great and positive afterward. The feeling itself makes me want to go again!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Days left: 96
I started looking through package deals to Puerto Rico, and there were quite a few good ones to be had, which was really exciting!
Also, I need to get my inactive self to the gym...but so difficult when feeling lazy right now...
Also, I need to get my inactive self to the gym...but so difficult when feeling lazy right now...
Days left: 96
Very first Feb Club tonight, at 356 (or was it 365?) Lynwood. And you know what? It was GLORIOUS. Haven't had so much fun or enjoyed myself so much in a while. Clearly I need to live a little. I am SO THERE for the next few. YES.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Days left: 97
We're well past the 100 days mark. This is when it really starts to get scary. Oh dear...
The bright side is now I really want to start planning spring break in earnest. Before, the ideas we threw around were just that: ideas. Now, it'll involve looking into hotels and flights and reality will start to set in.
Yesterday was Valentines. Came back to my room right at the end of the day to find flowers at my doorstep: a bouquet of white tulips with petals laced in purple and soft green leaves. Absolutely lovely! Spring is my favorite season, and nothing represents that better than tulips, with their fresh green, and especially in light, pastel colors like white and purple.
I found them a comfortable spot on my coffee table, and tomorrow when there's morning light that's the most flattering, I'll take a picture and share it.
Happy Valentines Day.
The bright side is now I really want to start planning spring break in earnest. Before, the ideas we threw around were just that: ideas. Now, it'll involve looking into hotels and flights and reality will start to set in.
Yesterday was Valentines. Came back to my room right at the end of the day to find flowers at my doorstep: a bouquet of white tulips with petals laced in purple and soft green leaves. Absolutely lovely! Spring is my favorite season, and nothing represents that better than tulips, with their fresh green, and especially in light, pastel colors like white and purple.
I found them a comfortable spot on my coffee table, and tomorrow when there's morning light that's the most flattering, I'll take a picture and share it.
Happy Valentines Day.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Days left: 103
Today I feel better. I've come to terms that this is the state of the world. I'm pleased with my productivity today, despite my busy schedule on Wednesdays. It help me to realize how happy it makes me to be productive. I looked over Linda's update as I promised, picked up my package (a textbook) from the Master's Office, got the sound files from Brent so I can run tests on the code tomorrow, updated the YRURP website, and remembered to bring the Mongolian bowls to Angela in programming. I'm proud.
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| I think Lin Dai-yu's study in Story of the Stone must look something like this |
I also find myself enjoying Behavioral Perspectives more and more. I was talking to Ak today before class started, and I said something to the point of, I feel comfortable at SOM. And I realized that this is true. At Yale College, I feel cloistered, like I can't say what I want. But SOM, I have the same feeling as high school and before, a freedom to ask questions, to not be judged by what I say. I can't be sure why I feel this difference, but I feel comfortable and at home at Yale business school in a way I don't elsewhere on campus. And the students in my SOM class are so much interesting than the average Yale college; you can tell that they're from all over the world. They have such diverse experiences. It's much more exciting and interesting. I only wish I'd discovered taking classes at SOM earlier.
So you might have noticed that the number has suddenly jumped up. In past posts on my blog I've been counting up the number of days into the term, but the counter I have on my desktop is counting down the number of days left from now until the end of the semester. Instead of counting it out myself, it's much easier to just look at the number on the counter. Plus since people are risk-adverse, the idea that I have only 103 days left, is a much stronger number emotionally than oh we're 30 days into the semester.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
023
So my logic today begins like this: it's not as if I can predict what will make me happy in the future very accurately.
This is especially true given my occasionally capricious nature. It's not that I enjoy shifting from one thing to the next, but it's something that happens naturally for me. I go through many ideas and life-views, and since I want reaffirming data for each, new pieces of information (anecdotes from friends, or stories about the success of this or that person) that can tip the balance in favor of one view or the other are like to do just that.
I'm not excusing myself from the fact that I do this; it's definitely my own doing that makes me flit like I do and my lack of steadiness in pursuing expertise in a few special areas.
Maybe now that I see how this unhappy it makes me, I'll take steps to minimize the disappointment I feel in my own accomplishments.
The other reason I'm so indecisive is this pressure to pick just one thing, or a few things, that I feel from my above conclusions. I know I'm not satisfied with my capriciousness, and I try to force myself into selecting something to remedy that. The problem is then the pressure I feel to choose makes me constantly question whether what I've chosen is really "right." But the thing is that the question of "rightness" isn't (haha) the right question. It's not as if I have this one time to choose and that's it, no more choices in the future. I can do what I've found to be the right path at the time, and not be affected by hindsight bias.
This is especially true given my occasionally capricious nature. It's not that I enjoy shifting from one thing to the next, but it's something that happens naturally for me. I go through many ideas and life-views, and since I want reaffirming data for each, new pieces of information (anecdotes from friends, or stories about the success of this or that person) that can tip the balance in favor of one view or the other are like to do just that.
I'm not excusing myself from the fact that I do this; it's definitely my own doing that makes me flit like I do and my lack of steadiness in pursuing expertise in a few special areas.
Maybe now that I see how this unhappy it makes me, I'll take steps to minimize the disappointment I feel in my own accomplishments.
The other reason I'm so indecisive is this pressure to pick just one thing, or a few things, that I feel from my above conclusions. I know I'm not satisfied with my capriciousness, and I try to force myself into selecting something to remedy that. The problem is then the pressure I feel to choose makes me constantly question whether what I've chosen is really "right." But the thing is that the question of "rightness" isn't (haha) the right question. It's not as if I have this one time to choose and that's it, no more choices in the future. I can do what I've found to be the right path at the time, and not be affected by hindsight bias.
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